Crime Scene Cleaner Review (Xbox Series X)

I don’t even like cleaning my own house, why am I the mob’s janitor?

There are some game genres that I’m extremely picky on and then there are genres that I honestly think I’d like, but can’t seem to really get into. No matter how different each title is. I’m sure we all have at least one genre that falls into that category and for me that’s first person cleaning games. To be fair, the ones I’ve played were on console, and thus a controller, which I don’t think is ideal for the ones that lean more into being realistic (which I’m sure you can guess which ones…PowerWash Sim and House Flipper). Despite that, I do find myself interested in first person cleaning games (FPCs?). One of the recent ones was actually Crime Scene Cleaner, but I couldn’t get it due to it only releasing on PC…until now.

Crime Scene Cleaner at first seemed like it’s pretty story light, but it actually does go deeper. You play as a man named Kovalsky who opens the game lamenting about his current life situation and how everything changed (for the better and for the worst) after he got a phone call. While what we see is taking place in the present, it does seem like Kovalsky’s narration is from the future ominously hinting at what’s to come. Anyway, he gets a phone call from his late friend’s son, Tyler, after he messes up pick time. When he arrives on the scene, Tyler was supposed to be there, but he bails since he was definitely spooked and leaves you there alone with the key and your payment hidden. The job? Cleaning the apartment. However, it was not what he expected. Not only was there a lot of blood and Tyler ended up killing the guy that lived at that apartment, but the guy had a…sinister hobby.

Kovalsky still cleans the apartment despite everything as he suspects that it would be only a matter of time until the cops find out and will be led straight to him. Kovalsky leaves that apartment spotless and takes any kind of evidence with him. It’s actually quite impressive, especially if he cleans good enough to leave no traces. It’s no wonder that the mob boss Kyle works for, Big Jim, is impressed too and “offers” him a job to clean for him. Not like Kovalsky can really decline without being killed. This is when Kovalsky starts cleaning for the criminal underworld, sometimes for a mob boss (which ends up mainly being for Big Jim), sometimes not. You won’t know until you get the job, but what you do know is that it’s going to be a gruesome crime scene and there will be multiple bodies, tons of blood, trash to pick up, and furniture to set back in place.

Don’t worry, you do get a debrief before you start a level (or Chapter, but I’m just going to call them levels). You’ll get an email from your client, sometimes a phone call and an email, the level select will give you a quick summary, and Kovalsky will even say his thoughts on the loading screen (with the exception being the first level).

I honestly liked the story here. It does a good job at setting up the game and giving you an intro for each area, but also leaving a lot of things up for you to discover. Whether it’s reading the emails, listening to the dialogue that happens, looking at the environmental storytelling, and noticing the changes that gradually happen. Like you learn that Kovalsky’s day job is being a high school janitor and his daughter, Elena, is currently sick. Elena’s medical bills are very expensive, and I mean very expensive, and he is kicked down as he tries to get that money in a legal way. So it makes sense that he was desperate for money and ended up falling into being a crime scene cleaner (roll credits) for a mob boss.

Tyler also sends you emails every day, which you can see how his life has changed since the events of the first level and see how he progresses. You’ll also get emails from Elena so you can know how she’s doing. Kovalsky’s apartment also slowly changes over the course of the game, which is actually pretty cool. Though, it is pretty hard to really tell that Kovalsky is being affected as from start to finish he’s a deadpan sarcastic quippy man that is sometimes lowkey annoying. Although, you can tell he is getting affected at least a little bit if you look at what he says. Every level even has their own little storyline. Of course you get to read what happened from your client, and maybe even get a cutscene, but the level itself tells you what happened thanks to the environmental storytelling. I do recommend going through the levels and just walk through it before cleaning when you’re finished with the game or close to it as you can put together the bloodstain patterns, evidence, and out-of-place furniture to put together what roughly happened. And cold hard evidence can’t lie.

I do wish that we got a more concrete timeline for how long time passed overall and in between levels, but I’m going to suspect it takes place at least over a couple months. I loved the way the story was told. There are layers to the storytelling which I loved.

It’s time to get into the gameplay, but it doesn’t really need an introduction. Every level, Kovalsky enters with all of his tools (that you have unlocked) and either his truck or a big garbage container will be at your spawn point. This is where you’ll be bringing the bodies and trash bags. Each level gets bigger as the game goes alone and the distance you’ll have to travel to the drop off varies as well.

So, now it’s time to do some cleaning. This is the meat of the game and I doubt it needs much explanation. You’ll pick up the various pieces of trash, which the required ones are highlighted as there are some optional trash you can still pick up, and grabbing bodies to put both in the back of your truck or in the big garbage container. There will be a lot of furniture you have to clean and put back, with the heavy items requiring you to clear the way so you can drag it to the spot and light items letting you line it up with the outline so it can snap into place. There is some furniture that is well hidden though (cough look up cough). You may also need to do a hacking minigame, which is pretty easy. You will also eventually get tools that’ll further help you out like a machine that weakens bloodstains over time, external lights (very helpful as it can be dark), an axe, and different detergents for you to use.

For bloodstains, you have to bring out the big guns. Get that water bucket filled, throw in a detergent with a good effect, and get to work with a mop or sponge. Careful not to tip and spill the water, you just have to pick which one you feel would be best for the situation as they both have advantages and disadvantages. The mop has a longer cleaning range and is great at getting weaker stains on smooth surfaces, but it can move light objects and break fragile objects; meanwhile a sponge work better on harsher stains and rougher surfaces (like rugs) and don’t move light objects, but have a small range due to being more precise. And of course, you’ll be cleaning the mop/sponge when they’re fully bloodied and then changing the water in the bucket when that’s fully contaminated. If you don’t you’ll start leaving blood stains. Luckily, if you’re holding down the button, the game does automatically stop it and turn the crosshair to red so you can catch it (which definitely makes some levels less annoying). They all also show signs of getting progressively bloodied as you clean, which is nice so you can tell what stage they’re at. You also have a power washer which is used to blast bloodstains off of outdoor surfaces (while also risking breaking fragile objects), but I did find it a bit underwhelming until I had it fully upgraded. I mainly used it for places I couldn’t reach and then once on a tough outside stain in one level.

You don’t just have to spot blood with just the light. Kovalsky has Cleaner Sense, which highlights every crime scene element for a limited time and has a cooldown. However, you can get UV lights so you can set it down and see all the blood in its range highlighted. And on that, the different highlighted colors for blood represents how hard that stain is. It took me an…embarrassing amount of time to learn this, but blue blood is the easiest, red is the hardest, and there’s colors in between. While the surface does have an effect, I’m pretty sure the stain difficulty also affects how fast the mop/sponge gets dirty.

You can approach levels however you want, but I do generally recommend focusing on a room or spot then moving on to the next when that area is cleaned. It helped me not get overwhelmed despite some levels looking busy (albeit with some things that annoyed me). So yeah, cleaning is pretty easy and has some complexity to it, but it’s going to take a while to clean up the whole area. Especially during the beginning since you just have the base tools.

When you’re ready to leave a level, all you have to do is go to the spawn point, click what will let you leave, and confirm that you want to leave. However, there is a minimum that you have to meet before you can leave. To go with the theme of cleaning up a crime scene, the completion percentage is deception percentage. To progress to the next level, you need at least 70% deception, which is most of the level. Though, let’s be honest, we’re going for that sweet 100%. Each stat is counted separately so you know what you missed too. Cleaning up blood, trash, and putting back furniture make up for 75% of the score; with finding evidence and bagging the bodies in your truck make up for 25%. If you do everything and it’s absolutely spotless and perfect you get a perfect score (which also goes towards achievements). You also get a screen so you can see how many Secrets and Cassette Tapes there were and if you found everything. You’ll also get to see how much you’re paid just by doing the job (whether you’re fully paid depends on your deception score) and how much you stole. The total money you earned will then be converted into skill points that you can put into skill upgrades.

In between levels, you’re at Kovalsky’s house where you can explore the rooms there, go on his computer to read or reread emails, look at a collection, pet your dog Dexter (don’t think that reference flew under my radar), go to your truck to get to a level select, and upgrade skills. Well, technically you can upgrade your skills any time, but I usually did it at his house. There are a lot of skill upgrades you can get, all organized by type and tool. Every tool has a skill tree, no matter how small it is. The tools’ stats get better as you pick up upgrades, with some asking you to choose one or the other (which you can switch at any time) so you can build your skill tree based on your play style. Some tools you can only receive through the skill upgrades, like the different detergents and UV light, and you can even use your skill points to be able to carry more than one of a tool just in case you find yourself needing/using it. You can even upgrade your Cleaner Sense to make it better as well. It’s up to you what you pick what you upgrade as it’s going to be based on your playstyle as upgrades vary on how many points you need to get that skill upgrade.

As you’re cleaning the crime scenes, there are some extra optional things you can find. In each level, there are secrets and cassette tapes. It depends how many secrets and cassette tapes there are in each level, but there is at least one each level and you won’t know how many there are until you finish the level (or look up a guide). Secrets are basically hidden rooms or spots that are hidden and do require you to go “off the beaten path” so to speak. Some are pretty well hidden, some you may naturally find by just exploring, and some you just have to look at something suspicious and investigate. Though, sometimes you just need to find a key to open a door, in which the key is tricky to find. After you find a Secret, you’ll get notified that it is one only on your first time discovering it.

Cassette Tapes are what you’d think they are. They’re just cassette tapes that you’ll find as you’re cleaning and picking them up will add them to your music player so you can listen to them while cleaning (of course, you have to press play first). The majority of them are easy to find, as they do appear in plain sight right where you’ll be cleaning, but there are some that are either in secret rooms or hidden away pretty well. Cassette Tapes are also tracked by the game, overall as there’s a corkboard where Kovalsky displays them and in the level select it’ll tell you how many tapes there are and how many you already found. Plus, you can just check the music player tab on Kovalsky’s tablet as you can see how many you’re missing and filter them by location.

I ended up liking the gameplay here. It does have elements that I didn’t like from games that take a similar approach, like small objects with small hitboxes, but this game does give some quality of life like being able to select multiple objects to trash rather than having to press for every single one. I also did like how there is always a shortcut to your truck or the drop off so you don’t have a long trek. The game also tells you you’re progress in a section of the level (usually a room or a specific area), which is really nice to have. One level even adds another counter to help you out as it’s way more messy than the other levels. I really liked how this was all about making the place absolutely spotless and like nothing happened. It was really satisfying as you slowly worked through the rooms or sections and then you finally grabbed that last piece of trash or fixed that last piece of furniture you needed to get 100% deception.

The levels also do a really good job at leading you to where it wants you to go and does a good job at shocking you with something unexpected. The hacking was different from other games, but easy to figure out and do (and bonus points for giving you an option to let it hack in over time). The game does progression well too, both with upgrades as it simulates Kovalsky getting better at cleaning and with having the levels get bigger, more complex, and more trashed. The Secrets are well done as they actually are secrets since they are well hidden (either the location or the key) and even tricky. Lastly, double wielding scrub daddies. Can’t get any cooler than that.

I do recommend taking breaks, even though it might be hard (and I know, I 100%’d this game in 3 days). It just depends per person, but I would take a break so you’re not getting too annoyed or getting tired of the game. Plus, if you’re playing on a controller, you can rest your hands cause at least for me, these first person cleaning games are killer on my hands. I actually went from hunting for the Secrets and Cassette Tapes I missed (which took hours since I had to finish the levels), went to the final level, got super annoyed, went to sleep, and then came back to the final level loving it.

I would also say this is a good game to listen to something else while playing (like a podcast or a video that’s not too visual), but Kovalsky does talk when coming across bodies, evidence, or certain rooms (sometimes it’s when you come across it, pick it up, or drop it off at the drop off) and Big Jim sometimes talks as well. Sure a lot of it is lowkey annoying quips, but there are some that are story relevant. So I suggest turning on the music player on your first go at the level and then listening to something external when you’re going back to grab Secrets, Cassette Tapes, or to get that sweet 100% deception.

Crime Scene Cleaner is getting postgame content. It’s going to take a while, but there is a roadmap that you can look at and see what’s planned. Two modes are planned, a Challenge Mode (replay levels with modifiers) and Nightmare Mode (twisted remix versions of the levels), a community voted map, and an Act 2 to continue the story and delve into what happened after the ending. The Nightmare Mode sounds like it’s going to be pretty cool and I really do like how it’s going to symbolize how Kovalsky was affected by these jobs. Which I feel is much needed as it’s pretty subtle. There has only been a small sneak peak, but it does look like it’s going to be cool too. And lastly, I was actually going to say that I would definitely play a “Crime Scene Cleaner 2”. The game does a good job with having a good, satisfying ending, but leaves enough to where there is enough to dive into if the developers want to. It’s going to be interesting to see where Act 2 goes

There were a few things that I didn’t like or wished the game had. I do feel the game could have been a bit better in telling you the controls. To be fair, I could have overlooked some as it’s really easy to overlook the control tutorial text and I do like how the tutorial is lowkey, but I had to look up how to turn on the flashlight. I also didn’t realize the tool wheel also had a sub menu so you can select the different types of that tool type (like the different detergents or to bring out the second bucket) for two missions. The controller controls are pretty good too, but there are definitely parts that didn’t translate well, didn’t translate, or the keyboard controls were kept in. For the music player, you can’t tell where you’re at as there’s not a noticeable highlight unless you’re over an individual song (so, say, if you want to use the skip button you can’t tell if you selected it). On the results screen, you can’t “see the full list” for all the things you stole as it doesn’t seem like there’s a way to select it with the controller (and I’ve tried). The tool wheel also has the keyboard numbers still on them. On that, I do wish the quick equip using the D-pad went along with how the wheel was oriented. It always threw me off when I was going from a mop to a sponge using the quick equip, but I always clicked the direction that brought up the powerwasher instead. I do understand it was to keep all the cleaning supplies together, though. I did also had a handful of instances where there was a speck of blood left (or virtually a speck of blood but was shown as more), but it’s left up in the air whether you can see it with a flashlight, if you can only see it using UV/cleaner sense, or if you can’t see it with either and you just have to blindly clean until the game says it’s fully cleaned. I also did notice that the game was pretty inconsistent in whether it was going to make you clean up every speck or have a big splatter disappear if you clean up a certain percentage of it. Some pieces of trash require you to break it down and I did find tables really hard to break down with your fists. Not because it’s a strength thing, but because you need to hit it at the right spot. If you use an axe, it’s way easier as you don’t need to be super accurate.

Other than that, I do wish that you’re told how many Secrets/Cassette Tapes each level had before the level starts. Plus how many Secrets you already discovered on the level select when you’re going to replay it. I also did wish you didn’t have to finish a level to have the Cassette Tapes count towards your total, but at the same time I didn’t mind cleaning the levels again. It was a bit weird that Kovalsky and his daughter got a character profile, but nobody else did. I was pretty surprised that there wasn’t an upgrade that made carrying corpses easier, but at the same time I do like how it also symbolized how Kovalsky never got used to these jobs and never expected it to be something he’d be doing forever. I was also surprised that there was no anti-tipping bucket upgrade cause man, you have no idea how many times I ended up spilling the bucket. With the most annoying ones being when I just put detergents in it and spilled it right as I was walking out or it seemed like it only tipped a little bit, but it was a huge splash as it counted as the bucket spilling. Or when you’re going to dip the mop in, but you’re just a smidge away from the hitbox and hit it just right to where it spills. You can probably tell how much I got annoyed with the water bucket haha. I do also wish that when you weaken stains with the ozonator, the highlight blood color goes down a level. It does feel like they were easier stains, but I would also like that visual feedback as well.

The visuals and sound is what you’d expect from this game. This does take on a more realistic look so there’s nothing really to note on. I do think the developers did a good job with the blood and scattering the objects as a way to tell you how things went down. Though, there were a couple instances where it felt it didn’t make much sense. The game also does have some pretty creative things. There are cutscenes here, but they are artistically shot so there could be minimum animation; which was smart. You have to give props for finding a way around a weakness and I did like how they were all shot (pun unintended). I also do like how the mop and sponge gets a visual upgrade once you’re halfway through their upgrade path to give you that extra oomph that they’re better tools.

The sound design is good as well, which we’d hope since it would be pretty hard to mess it up. The sound effects do fit and they even get slightly different for the different states the tools have. It would be hard to get this wrong. There is also some voice acting, mainly from Kovalsky, which I liked as well (even though Kovalsky can annoy me at times). In terms of the music, I did like the majority of the tracks here. There were two, three if you count the last Cassette Tape “track”, that I didn’t like which is pretty good.

The performance here was mostly good, but there were moments where the framerate did drop for a second or two. It mainly happened during the more busy levels towards the end, with the worst being during the last level in the beginning since it is particularly very busy.

Verdict

Will Crime Scene Cleaner turn you around on cleaning games? Not really, but there is enough here that puts this game a step above the others. There were some annoyances, aspects that I wish were included, and I do still think these first person cleaning games aren’t suited for a controller; but the story, theming, carefully crafted levels, and environmental storytelling really got me to stick with it and coming back for more. I actually started being neutral on the game, but I was slowly getting to like it until a certain level spiked it into love. There is so much more going for Crime Scene Cleaner than just simply cleaning and it seems like that’s just what I needed.

So yeah, I would recommend Crime Scene Cleaner whether you already like cleaning games in the same vein or you don’t but you’re open to the idea. And of course, no matter what you’ll have to be interested in the storyline where you clean crime scenes for the criminal underworld.

I’ll definitely be looking out for the content updates too. I’m definitely down to playing the levels again in Challenge and Nightmare Modes and it’ll be interesting to see what Act 2 has in store.