Cat President: 3rd-Rate Candidate Review

You can’t be fur real, Pollytrix is the cutest catnidate!

I’m pretty surprised I didn’t know about the Cat President visual novel series. When I first heard about this entry I didn’t really take it seriously; though something told me to just look more into it. Which got me to discover that not only were there two other entries and those that played them liked them, but also that I actually played one of the developer’s previous games (Internet Court). Plus, I was also in the mood for something silly and it reminded me of a webcomic I’m reading called Vote Mr. Cat (which Mr. Cat is currently President funnily enough). So yeah, here I am. I may be coming in on the third entry, but let’s see how this political parody game featuring cats is and if it’s worth checking out.

In Cat President: 3rd-Rate Candidate you play as yourself, but in an alternate world where pets can talk and humans were banned from politics many years ago. So who are the politicians? Well, cats and dogs of course! Though, we’re only focusing on those running for President, which seems to be mainly cats. The game starts with you and your best friend Thomas at the yearly State Fair, but this year is a bit different. After all, it’s election season and that means all the cats in the running are here to meet the voters! Not like you knew beforehand though, considering you don’t exactly like politics. Your best friend, Thomas, is a total nerd for it though and he convinces you to stay and meet the candidates with him. Granted, it required paying $10 to enter a raffle where first prize is becoming their campaign manager, but hey second prize is a free pizza. Surely all the good luck you’ve accumulated won’t all be used up to win first prize here.

Welp. Universe, you really are playing an early April Fools prank on me huh. After meeting all the candidates running, and more specifically getting first impressions in for six specific ones, your name gets drawn as the first place prize winner. If I could give this to Thomas I would. Even though you’ll now be managing one of the lowest polling cat-nidates (hehe), it does at least pay well and Thomas is right about it being a great opportunity. The election may be in four days (wait, what?!?) for your state (phew) and your choices may be a unique and quirky bunch of cats, but maybe, just maybe, you’ll be able to make these third rate candidates into Presidential material!

I thought about how I would tackle reviewing this game and I guess I’m settling for how I review otome games. So, a serious review for a not so serious game haha. There are six different candidates that you can choose from, with each of them having their own storylines that will follow their presidential campaign. Each of them also have three endings: Dumpster Fire (bad), Also Ran (neutral), and Success (good). The ending you get is based on the choices you make throughout their route. There is at least one choice per chapter and there is a correct answer, which based on what I figured out is being optimistic about their chances of winning and going along with whatever the storyline calls for. Getting them all wrong will result in the Dumpster Fire ending where they don’t win (and maybe something worse), getting them all right will result in the Success ending where they do get elected and there’s a little romance sprinkled in, and finally a mix of right and wrong answers will net you the Also Ran ending which depends on the storyline that the route is telling and there’s no spark of romance between you two. It can range from “okay, this isn’t too bad I can live without getting with him” to “what the hissssss, how dare they”.

Well, let’s go in on what I thought about all the candidates and their routes! I’ll talk about them in the order I did them in.

Zeus “The Loveable Nerd”

First up is Zeus. I didn’t really know which one to do first, so I just did the one that was first in line on the route selection screen. Being the youngest looking one out of the bunch, this little kitty is obsessed with superheroes. Like really as his whole campaign is focused on superheroes from his speeches to what he’s planning to do if he’s elected as President. Heck, even his route is themed around it! Going down his route, you find out that you have a lot of work ahead of you. Not only do you find out that Zeus only ran because his mom wants him to move out and get an office job, but he’s a little bit naive and into superheroes a bit too much. You’re ever the optimist though as you see the silver lining in the situation and aim to use Zeus’ strengths to get donors and voters. Things may not go as planned with Zeus’ obvious secret of being the superhero Superter, but hey you’re someone that can think on her feet. If there’s anyone that can turn Zeus’ campaign around, it’ll be you!

Zeus’ route was pretty fun. A superhero themed route really made for a good first route and went well with the political aspects that this route parodied. I couldn’t tell whether the protagonist was actually a bit dense or was just playing along, but I liked and found it funny how you lowkey had a crush on Zeus’ superhero alter ego. I also really liked how the other candidates were brought into the story, how the scenes revolving around superheroes and supervillains were written, and Zeus did turn out to be a sweet cat. Even if he fails to mention some important details.

Finkle “The Outsider”

Next up is Finkle and he’s basically the contrarian out of the six candidates. He’s a Senator aiming to take on the role of President with his motto basically being that his fellow Sharpclaws are idiots that don’t pass any good laws. While also bragging about his track record of rejecting every bill that came his way. So, yeah, probably not surprising when you learn that the others don’t exactly like him. And, oh boy, that’s just scratching the surface. Going down his route, your reasoning on picking Finkle is that you two might get along well; with you not caring much about politics and him seeming fed up with politics. Except, Finkle turns out to be more trouble than you expected, so much so that you think you might have picked wrong, as you find out that he’s pretty much a troll that has a very heated rivalry with Pollytrix. However, there is a side of him that you’ll find as you get to know him more. If only you can get him to show that side of him more…and reign in his supporters. Alongside helping Finkle’s campaign and getting to know him more, you’ll also learn more about the political lore in this world as well as why he’s called “The Outsider” rather than “The Contrarian”.

I quite liked Finkle’s route. I was a bit surprised how this one was a bit more serious, but that’s not a bad thing as it really works. I really liked getting more, what I’m just going to call, political lore of this world and man did this route select the perfect aspects to parody. Finkle himself is a bit of a handful, but I liked getting to know him. He may be a troll and a contrarian that would definitely have you pulling out your hair if you had to manage his political campaign irl, but underneath all that he’s a deadpan, with a dash of sarcasm, straight to the point cat that can be really sweet and does have reasons for why he acts the way he does. Also, I liked how the side characters and the other candidates were handled in this route. They, and the situations they put you in, were pretty funny and I liked seeing how the other candidates handled Finkle’s strategy and how they even turn it around on him. I especially loved the rivalry that Finkle and Pollytrix had. And oh boy, the endings (especially the Dumpster Fire ending).

Jelly Jam “The Diva”

Jelly Jam is up next and he’s all about musical theater. He not only promises to build musical theaters in all major cities, but he sings all of his speeches and really any time that he feels is right. Granted, though, it doesn’t seem like he has a good singing voice. His appearance is also more human-like than cat-like haha. Going down his route, you find out that he may just be talking a big game. Jelly Jam is more interested in getting his foot in the door for musicals and really being President is just his backup career. Which he believes he’ll nail thanks to his acting experience…or the fact that he can easily win one of the primary states that’s voting. Or will he? It turns out that we’ll also meet his many (cough more talented) brothers throughout the route as his fellow candidates try to get him out of the running. Will Jelly Jam be able to win the dancing competitions? Or will he fall flat on his face?

Jelly Jam’s route was alright. It wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, but the prologue did kind of foreshadow the direction it was going to go down in. This route has a Narrator character that mainly pops up in the beginning of chapters, but later on plays a part in the storyline, and is the source of some meta comments. I honestly didn’t mind the meta comments and humor though and it was a bit funny. I did really like all of Jelly Jam’s brothers too and it was crazy the whole election was put on dancing competitions. It was also pretty funny how Jelly Jam just kept falling. We also got to know a bit more lore as well, a little bit political lore and a little bit of cat lore. The endings were sweet too…well except for the Dumpster Fire ending that one was mainly super sad. So yeah, Jelly Jam’s route wasn’t a hit for me, but it was still fun.

Nano “The Scientist”

We’re going into the territory of my favorite cats based on their looks and their first impressions. I did Nano next and he is a scientist who totally wasn’t doing experiments, and especially not dangerous experiments no siree, at the State Fair. His experiments also totally don’t backfire haha *sweats as I cover up scorch marks*. Nano is also another candidate that doesn’t have previous experience as a politician and is more focused on other things, which in Nano’s case is his scientific endeavors. Oh and interestingly enough his meows is more like an imitation of bird chips, which I guessed was a hint on how different his route would be and I was right. Nano’s route is probably the one I can’t really talk about much as it quickly goes into spoiler territory as it goes right into the meat and potatoes. Plus, I’m positive the storyline works best when it catches you off guard. Let’s just say Nano makes some weird comments that make a whole lotta sense very soon afterwards.

Back when I just finished the prologue and was on the route selection screen, I did honestly toy with the idea of playing Nano first before settling on Zeus since he was first in the lineup. And man, I’m glad I didn’t cause this route? I loved this route. While I did expect Nano’s route to include some science craziness in it, I was not expecting it to go down the route that it did. I loved the way this route was handled, how the title cards even went along with it, how the other characters were used (especially Thomas), and the strategies that you and Nano used. Though, man, does his Dumpster Fire ending not help him out at all as it really puts him in a horrible light. I still love Nano though. The only complaint I have is that I’m surprised a certain movie wasn’t referenced, but I’m guessing the developers couldn’t figure out a good cat pun. Which is fair cause I couldn’t think of a good one either.

So um, I just looked at the Steam page where the little blurb for Nano does spoil the route’s storyline. So, um, be like me and subconsciously skip over his blurb haha.

Pollytrix “The Flip-Flopper”

Even though this technically isn’t a dating sim, just a political parody game with a sprinkle of romance, I still picked the cat that I liked the most based purely on their looks. And Pollytrix was that cat. Also, I really like Pollytrix’s name (maybe I’ll steal that name for myself if I ever get another pet). Why isn’t he the last route I played last, you ask? Well, his first impression gave me some pause (you have no idea how hard it was to not make that into a pun). Pollytrix is a flip flopper, just like his little title says. One moment he’ll be all for something and the next moment he’ll be all against that something. And by moments I don’t mean spread out by days but in the same conversation or speech. Truly flip flopping worthy of giving you whiplash. Going down this route you find out that Pollytrix already has a campaign manager, which actually he isn’t the only one but this is a route where the previous one is relevant for the whole route. As you try to manage Pollytrix’s flip flopping moods, the campaign, and the previous campaign manager; you’ll also be trusted with his most guarded secret and the storyline does go longer into the Presidential campaign than the others.

I really liked this route! I really liked Pollytrix as a character, even though his spiky side is quite pointy, and man was his original campaign manager a piece of work. Though, I did notice some continuity here as a piece of information you learn in Finkle’s route is confirmed to have actually happened in Pollytrix’s route. Though, it seems one half didn’t tell the other about something else they did and that being the real reason Finkle hates them. Anyway, the secret here is also one that makes you go “wait whaaat”, but it makes a whole lot of sense and you do get to learn how they pulled it off. And I liked how before that, you can tell which side you’re getting just based on how they talked (there’s also the music track that plays but you can still tell). I also liked the direction the route went down and how it did play with expectations. I honestly thought it would take the whole route to learn the secret, but you learn it reasonably quickly and the conflict isn’t due to misunderstanding that it would have likely caused. The conflict sprouted from the secret and it would have eventually happened. It just happened to bloom during your time as his campaign manager.

Cardoon “The Vice Prez”

Last, but not least, is Cardoon! Did I decide to do Cardoon last because he’s the current Vice President? Yes. Yes I did. Through Cardoon we learn that it’s canon that DJ Nibbles was elected President and Cardoon is running to continue President Nibbles’ legacy. And due to his experience being Vice President, it isn’t surprising that he’s the most professional and polished one out of the bunch. Though, if you played other routes where Cardoon pops up in you may notice a particular trait of his that really puts a bad mark on his seemingly pristine record. Going down his route, you find out that the reason the Vice President is a third rate candidate is because President Nibbles isn’t polling too well outside of their political party and thus Cardoon isn’t. So, you have to figure out a way to save his campaign…which Nibbles isn’t helping at all with his playing with the idea of running again. And worse yet, you witness that Cardoon, the totally squeaky clean politician, isn’t so clean and wants you to do his dirty work.

I liked Cardoon’s route quite a bit and I’m glad I ended up doing his last. Cardoon’s route gave me major final route vibes with how it was set up, written, and how there were even references to the first game and cameos. It was also quite a rollercoaster with Cardoom and the events that happen within this route. I feel a bit bad for Thomas, but it was quite nice to get more scenes with DJ Nibbles, see the various sides of Cardoon and learn why he is the way he is, the cameos from the first game were fun even as someone where their first Cat President game is this one, and it was just all around a good and funny route. Doing this route last also did answer some lingering questions that you’ll probably have from other routes and makes those scenes make sense. So, yeah, this one is the perfect “last route” route in my opinion and was fun to read through.

Since I decided to tackle this review like I do for my otome reviews, I decided to also do my usual rankings! Hey, might as well go all the way. For my rankings, it’s a mix of what I thought of them as a character and what I thought about their route. And here it is:

Nano > Pollytrix > Cardoon > Finkle > Zeus > Jelly Jam

Overall, I ended up liking Cat President: 3rd-Rate Candidate more than I thought I would. I didn’t have much expectations other than the game being funny and it was that plus it was actually pretty good. I liked the writing style here, I liked the various cat puns and wordplay here, I liked how quick and snappy the routes were, the storylines the routes had were perfect for the short length (every route was about an hour and a half for me), and they were all different from one another. I ended up liking most of the routes and the direction they went in as well. Of course, I have my favorite routes and ones I didn’t like as much, but I’d say it’s still pretty good that I liked 5 out of 6 routes. As for the political parody aspect of Cat President: 3rd Rate Candidate, I’d say it was pretty well done here. It’s pointed just enough that you can tell what it’s parodying, while also having room so it could be joked about and be funny. And I do feel the aspects which each route was parodying was well chosen.

While a route’s storyline only happens if you go down their route, there is some continuity. Like, the cats’ personalities are still the same so the actions they do in other routes are things you can see them doing once you learn about them more in their route. There is even some information that is canon, which was a bit of a surprise for me as I was full into the “each route are completely separated stories” mindset and some weird things that don’t get explained in other parts of the game do get explained in that cat’s route. Though, I do wonder how much the Dumpster Fire and Also Ran endings are canon. Like if the reveal of the conflict that is kept a mystery in the Success ending is true or if it’s mainly so the cat candidates are in the worst light. I don’t know, maybe I’m thinking a bit too much.

I also liked the cats themselves, how different they were from one another, and the ways they approached their campaign. You can really tell why they were third rate candidates haha, but they all did also have qualities where you could realistically save their campaign. I liked the side characters here and the way they were used in the story both as a parody and their role in the route. My favorite side character will always be my bestie Thomas. And as for the protagonist, I liked and related to her quite a lot. Having the protagonist not being interested in politics, while also having a best friend that is a total politics nerd, was a great choice and it does funnily enough make you a third rate campaign manager as well. Also, gotta love how much the protagonist loves Christmas movies with a little genre twist to them.

In terms of how the game is if this game is the first Cat President game you’re playing, I’d say this game does a great job in that regard. You don’t need to know anything about how it works in this game’s universe and I think it also helps that the protagonist doesn’t like politics. All you need to know going in is that pets can talk and cats can be politicians. The game does tell you other things as you go along, when it’s relevant, and I wasn’t confused over anything. Not even during Cardoon’s route where I learned has references to what you learn in the second game. Though, I did not think they were serious with who President Nibbles’ previous Vice President was haha. So yeah, this game does a great job at being a good entry for players to start at while also having references from the previous two that still makes sense.

After you get at least one ending in each of the routes, the Bonus section will unlock on the main menu. This basically gives you some insight on why certain decisions were made and even see some deleted scenes that didn’t make it into the game.

As for negatives, the only thing I can think of is that the humor isn’t going to be for everyone. I personally liked the humor here, but I know it’s not going to be a hit for everyone. Though, I’d say if you thought the game’s trailer was funny, you’ll probably find the full game funny. In fact, the main reason why I decided to play this game was because I thought the trailer was funny. Other than that, I just found it weird that the Endings list will unlock all the endings after only getting one of them. This one isn’t a negative, as you can view the Also Ran endings easily, but just weird. Those going in mainly for romance may also be disappointed that it’s a bit of an afterthought.

To tie this all up in a bow, the visuals and sound here were good as well. The visuals definitely help push this being an absurd political parody game not only with the various backgrounds, but how everyone’s character sprites are like. They’re both realistic as the backgrounds look like they’re real places somewhere and the characters are real people and cats, but there’s just something about how they’re both combined that makes it a bit funny and puts you in the mode where you know the game isn’t serious and you’re ready for the jokes to come rolling in. Also, most backgrounds have a cat in them which is a bit funny. I also really loved how each route has a unique title card that pops up at the beginning of their chapter that fits well with the cat they’re connected to and even their route. Not to mention they have their own music track to push it even further. And talking about music, the sound design here was well done. The sound effects are great and well placed and I liked the music here as they fit the scenes they played in.

Verdict

All in all, I ended up liking Cat President: 3rd Rate Candidate more than I thought it would. I went in expecting this game to simply be funny and it turned out to be better than I thought. I had a fun time going through the various routes trying to get these cats on the road to becoming the next President and dealing with whatever their storyline threw at me. And having a little bit of romance sprinkled on top. Even if you’re someone that doesn’t like politics or didn’t play the previous two games in the series, Cat President: 3rd Rate Candidate is a short and fun visual novel that I would recommend.